All Praise the Glorious TV

Tonight started like any other. I came home from work and greeted a thrilled Matilda. Millie was even happy to see me. We shared hugs and kisses and immediately the girls were asking to watch a show. Tilda, of course wanted to watch "Daniel Tiger" and Millie was requesting "Puffin Rock." I said to them ,"No! We aren't going to watch any shows. Momma missed you today. So much. Lets go outside and play." This lead to fights about who the "rocks" really belonged to (hint: they came with the house). It led to tears and screaming and fighting. We ended up inside. Even though dinner was 15 minutes away from being done, they both lost their cool, claiming they were hungry. Two bananas (don't worry, I didn't dare cut Matilda's into pieces, lest she completely lose her shit), one squeeze food and some pretzel fishy crackers later...and things seemed a bit better.

Oh, but then Millie looked at Tilda the wrong way. And Tilda hit Millie. Which led to a complete and utter breakdown again. I tried to capture this moment on my camera, but realized quickly that I was just making matters worse.

Rather than lose my cool, I decided to turn on our family happy song, "Can't Stop the Feeling." I picked up Millie and together we twirled, ran around the kitchen and living room, laughed and shook our bums. Then I picked up Matilda to do the same. Which caused Millie to absolutely break down. So I set Matilda down and tried to get both girls to dance with me at the same time. Of course it didn't work. Matilda then broke down. Each of my girls placed their little bodies against the kitchen cabinets, and sobbed. One on the left side of the kitchen door, and one on the right. They wobbed as I did whatever I could to cheer them up. I did the running man, the Roger Rabbit, the "sprinkler". I even channeled a bit of vaudeville and kicked my legs and shook my hands. I peeked around the corner of the kitchen door making various ridiculous faces. I twirled my head in circles and shimmied across the kitchen. And of course, the "Becky Dance" was out in full force. I worked my ass off to change the mood of the house. It didn't work.

And rather than amuse my children, I apparently annoyed them. Defeated and sweating (because I'm so out of shape), I turned off the song, closed the windows, turned on the air conditioner and poured myself a glass of wine. Because being a parent has apparently made me a wine-o.

Then I shouted, over their screams, "FINE! Fine! You win! You can watch a show!!!!!" I turned on some awful show - Umizoomi? I think that's what it's called.

Within 37 seconds the house was quiet.

So I finished preparing dinner, thanked the TV gods for once again shining down upon our household and tried to ignore all of the "you bad mom" thoughts that popped into my head. I know full well that I just taught them the valuable lesson of "If you cry and scream enough, mom will lose it and give in." I'm amazing. Another "Mom of the Year" award right here. Sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do.

It's approximately 8:30 and I am going to bed.  Two glasses of wine, no dinner, and a date with my book and bed. Cause sometimes, these kids really just take it out of me.

Repeat to myself: tomorrow is another day.

No comments