Christmas Eve, I found myself in bed unable to sleep. I was so exhausted and Seth was sleeping soundly next to me. I wasn't too excited to sleep or anything like that. It just hit me that this was our last Christmas alone together. We have had 7 Christmases together now. 7!
Our Christmases together have been a lot of fun. I've forced Seth to sleep on the floor next to the tree most years - and also made him watch "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street" with me. I've dragged him to a plethora of family parties much to his frustration (he likes to be lazy on Christmas). He even proposed to me the night before Christmas Eve.
We've always just had our time together during the holidays. It has been a great 7 years.
As I tried to sleep on Christmas Eve I realized that I felt a bit sad. Next Christmas everything will be different. While I do believe it will be different in the best way possible it will still be different. In one month our lives will change in the most profound way imaginable.
Next Christmas Millie will be 10 months old or so. While she won't understand what Christmas is I know I will still have the desire to give her gifts (although we will likely just wrap the toys she already plays with). We'll be trying to keep our baby away from the Christmas tree. She'll be all over and into everything. However, she'll be spoiled by her grandparents. I'll want to take her to the Zoo to see the lights. I'll likely dress her in a ridiculous Christmas dress. I'll read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and sing Christmas carols to her. Millie will be playing with her new little cousin - just a couple months younger than she is. I am so excited!
Everything is about to change.
And it's not just Christmas. I've realized the last few years that holidays just aren't that great anymore. Halloween isn't that fun as an adult. I can't WAIT to dress Millie up and take her trick-or-treating. I can't wait to go to her elementary school Halloween parade! I'm excited to help her make a Valentine's Day box and help her sign all of her adorable valentine's for her classmates. Easter baskets, eggs, dresses and pictures with a creepy Easter Bunny will make that day so much more memorable. She'll be enthralled (or terrified) by fireworks on the 4th of July. And Christmas - oh Christmas. Children make Christmas wonderful. While she'll just be tiny next Christmas it'll just be the beginning of creating a magical season for my baby girl. Even New Years - while I believe it means more to an adult - who doesn't have great memories of banging pots and pans at midnight?
I've had 30 years of amazing holidays and they are about to change so drastically. I remember the anticipation of waiting on the stairs on Christmas morning for Dad to get out of the shower so we could open presents.
I remember the feeling of playing outside in the snow and how great it was to come inside where mom was waiting with hot chocolate and dry clothes. I remember searching sometimes endlessly for the hidden Easter basket that Dad managed to hide all-too-well.
Mom spent countless hours trying to create Dorothy's ruby slippers for my Halloween costume and always had chili and breadsticks waiting when we returned home cold cheeked from trick-or-treating.
Valentine's Day meant delicious sugar cookies, and doorbell ditching friends and family with special Valentines. Even St. Patricks Day meant green eggs and pancakes! My parents created some magical holidays and I can't wait to do the same for my Millie.
One month to go....hopefully less.
Somehow I think she may put a damper on this year's Valentine's Day.
But I doubt it.